Are you an unintentional bully?

Are you a bully?

     It’ll only take a couple of seconds for some of us to immediately answer ‘no’ that question.

How about unintentional bullying?

     Sometimes even if we don’t mean to, we unintentionally hurt those around us, not necessarily by what we do but also by what we say. From seemingly innocent little remarks about their physical insecurities to snide comments regarding their preferences and quirks, sometimes, even those who we love the most become victims of our “unintentional bullying”.

     Bullies are not solely confined in our classrooms, workplace, or in various online social networking sites. They aren’t just those people who we try to steer away from. There are instances when we just can’t escape or run away from them for they are the ones we are in love with. Perhaps, even we are the bullies of our significant others.

     Whether it be our boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, there are times when we said or shouted things at them that we really shouldn’t have. When we’ve spoken too soon and uttered the most painful words when we were caught up in heated arguments. Sometimes, it is not even what we say but how we say it that makes all the difference.

     Maybe it is because we have become too secured of their presence, we know that they love us and that they’ll accept us amidst our shortcomings. We know them too well, what makes them happy as well as what doesn’t. We know the things that could hurt them and unknowingly or not, when we’re embittered, we use these to hurt them. Sadly, some of us may not even be aware that we are doing so.

     Saying hurtful things doesn’t necessarily mean that we do not love them anymore, on the contrary, these words may even come out as a reaction of our internal call for their attention. We want their attention because they’re important to us. It could even be an unconscious attempt to try to make them feel and understand that pain that we have inside. However, this do not justify the pain that we then cause them.

     They say that when we’re mad, we need to take a deep breath first and count to ten before saying something lest we regret it. That is a simple yet useful advice. Further, maybe it will be better if we also constantly remind ourselves to watch over what we say, how we say, and when we say them.

     To not trust our tongue when our heart is filled with anger or bitterness.




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